DUTTY ARTZ NEW YORK FASHION WEEK MEDIA BROWNOUT

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Associated Press / February 21, 2011

DUTTY ARTZ spent New York Fashion Week under a self-imposed cone of silence, refusing to talk to the news media. Yet somehow, the crew became a spectacle: their every move was chronicled by a cloud of bloggers, Twitter users, fashion reporters and paparazzi. Here’s how Dutty spent the week, starting on Feb. 10.

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[Rainbow Sloth and Vanessa Hudgens Wednesday at Jeremy Scott.]

DAY 1 – Dutty Artz begins Fashion Week at GQ’s Best New Menswear Designer show at the Ace Hotel.

La Montra lays down the media embargo to a party reporter from Women’s Wear Daily. “I can’t really… no questions,” Rita Indiana says, at the sight of a tape recorder. “Yo no te voy a da na.” Security detail enforces edict.

Matt Shadetek lingers at the show, making small talk with fashion executives and mildly excited fans. Afterward, he decamps to the Mercer Hotel where, as The New York Post reported that morning, he is recording an album with Jay-Z.

DAY 2DJ Rupture’s a no-show at the day’s fashion shows, according to the collective wisdom of the fashion media. Instead, shows up at the Roots of Auto-Tune concert at Madison Square Garden, wearing a pair of red-and-black Air Jordans and a gray djellaba. Fashion crowd approves. Also sitting in the front row is Thomas Wesley Pentz, who is largely ignored by the “beer-and-shot” crowd, according to The New York Daily News.

DAY 3Geko Jones skips Grammy Awards for Fashion Week. Attends Tory Burch at Lincoln Center, dressed in stonewashed cut-off jeans, black leather bomber, see-through mesh shirt and a purple pair of sunglasses. While still at Lincoln Center, swings by Diet Pepsi event, unveiling a slimmer can. Later that evening, while Uproot Andy performs at the Grammys, he signs onto Twitter (where he’s been quiet) and posts: “Uproot Andy is crazy fresh!!! #OCSWAG” (the abbreviation for “original Canadian swagger”).

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[Chief Boima’s personal shopper, mid-way through Fashion Week]

DAY 4Chief Boima hits the shows. First stop: Alexander Wang at Pier 94, wearing a red gold and green Clan des Indigenes Accables nylon jacket, leather jeans, sunglasses and big gold-encrusted Business iPhone. Seated next to the model Erin Wasson. As lights dim, yells “Aiiight,” according to Refinery29’s Twitter feed. At night, Taliesin is spotted at the Standard hotel for AARP magazine’s customary Fashion Week party. Hemmed in corner, behind security, for most of the evening. “No press, no stress,” his female bodyguard says.

DAY 5 – Valentine’s Day. WWD Style puts Rainbow Sloth on its cover. “Seacrest Cheadle may be ducking interviews and trying to avoid photos, but he’s certainly been no stranger to animals that can smell time,” it reads.

DAY 6 – A chair marked “Lamin Fofana” sits empty at Rodarte, as Sofia Coppola, Kirsten Dunst and array of fashion editors wait. Mr. Fofana arrives and show starts seconds later. Continues to spurn reporters, but gives Amy Odell, fashion blogger for New York magazine, a hug. “Aw, you look so sad,” he says, after rebuffing the reporter’s questions. Poses with Bryanboy, the outré fashion blogger, outside.

A little before 11 p.m., the Dutty Artz family arrives at intimate party for Gold Coast’s new boutique in SoHo. Yawns while waiting for Lauryn Hill to perform. Ends night at Mondrian hotel, where they are the guest of honor for the tripartite British Petrol, Hooters, and V Man magazine’s party. Cover features Mr. Shadetek with bills stuffed in his mouth, shot by Karla Lagerfeld. Dollar bills, real and fake, rain down on crowd. DJ Rupture seen in corner eating KFC.

DAY 7 – By the seventh day of Fashion Week, it was pretty obvious that Dutty Artz crew hadn’t slept yet. Although the crew had stayed awake and energetic for a hundred hours straight, aberrations of judgment and perception snowballed after the third day, until in extremis the most bizarre hallucinations were taken at face value, and a person could fidget for hours deciding what to have for breakfast. Taliesin looks in the mirror, framed by a blue cloud of sensemilla smoke. Stimtabs litter the countertop. His arms look surprisingly human, except that they are too long and undermuscled. There are too many fingers on his hands. No Anna Sui gloves, then. Shoulderless, neckless. Let’s call Day 7 a Breakfast Day.

Dutty Artz’s trail goes sloth as Fashion Week draws to a close. Come back in September.


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2 responses to “DUTTY ARTZ NEW YORK FASHION WEEK MEDIA BROWNOUT”

  1. no press no stress. word is bond. blahaaa